LATE SUMMER HOLIDAY GIVEAWAY

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Guess who's having a baby...

LEAD ME ASTRAY is due in 6 months! So, to celebrate this total bundle of joy, I'm releasing an all-new free read on Wattpad. Plus, I'm hosting a Late Summer Holiday Giveaway all through September and October 2021. This is a personally-sponsored contest not affiliated with my publisher, social media platforms, or Wix. No purchase necessary to enter.

All you have to do is:

1. Follow me on Wattpad, Instagram, Twitter, and Tiktok. All relevant links here.

2. Tag 2 friends under any of the Late Summer Holiday Giveaway social media announcement posts (on Wattpad, Instagram, Twitter, and/or Tiktok) to help me spread the word.

3. Drop a white heart emoji when you're done to show me you've read and understand the instructions.

10 Winners:

• Will be chosen at random.

• Will be announced in November 2021.

• Will receive 1 prize each by December 2021.

Prizes:

I'm giving out 10 signed commemorative birth announcement cards--one to each winner--to celebrate this once in a lifetime experience. After many years of dreaming of being published, the time has finally arrived, and I couldn't be happier to share the journey with you!

Please, keep in mind these prizes are being commissioned and purchased by yours truly as a gift to the winners. Therefore, I ask you to respect the rules of engagement. Full disclosure, this giveaway is to help me to grow my author platform, as well as to spread the word about my upcoming book. Thanks so much for your participation!

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Got any questions? Leave a comment, and I'll be sure to reply!

What Are You Manifesting?

We criticize ourselves for the smallest mistakes. We do it tongue-in-cheek, like doing something embarrassing and joking, “I’m so stupid haha!” But we also come down hard on ourselves when we’ve done nothing wrong. Ghosted by a hot prospect? Suddenly, our tongue-in-cheek “I’m so stupid” has teeth and claws and draws blood.

My Self-Love + Sex + Magic Movement stems from the realization people spend a lot of time cringing to sleep over silly faux pas and not enough time celebrating life.

I try to unpack my own struggles with being too hard on myself through my fiction. Take LEAD ME ASTRAY. In my debut Wattpad novel, Aurie Edison wants to be the perfect role model for her younger sister, but obviously perfection is unattainable. Sexy werewolf Detective Zyr Ravani also has a fear of failure. However, every mistake doesn’t need to be dissected under a self-critical lens. When we hold ourselves to perfectionist standards, disappointment is inevitable.

I really explore the cultivation of self-love through smoldering main character Mx. Mys, an enby sex worker (pronouns: they/them). Mys--for reasons--hides fragile confidence behind a cynical exterior. They have a backstory littered with emotional and physical abuse (sorry bae), lending incredible depths of empathy. Unfortunately, deeply ingrained self-limiting beliefs turn their greatest strength into a weakness. Mys discovers empowerment only by seeing themself as an imperfect but integral part of saving the day.

Philosopher Renee Descartes stated, “I think, therefore I am.” In other words, negative self-talk is far from harmless. Who you think you are has a definite impact on how your personality manifests. So, what are you manifesting?

Watch Behind the Scenes w/ LK1 (S2, E1) for 3 Ways to Practice Self-Love Daily.

Harsh internal criticism may feel like second nature. Fortunately, our malleable human brains are designed to believe consistent messaging. (It’s the reason a repeated lie begins to sound like the truth.) Therefore, make good use of this function. No more cringe-worthy inner monologues. Let’s turn things around by Rezoning and Reframing.

Rezoning

We all want to be better and do better. Rezone to address matters of self-improvement that are within your control. It is healthy and appropriate to strive to level-up across the board. However, your place on the rungs of the ladder of success is often determined by factors that are out of your hands. Make your intellect, talents, looks, finances, and relationship status censure-free zones. That means nix the blame game regarding your genes, money woes, and romance struggles.

Don’t get me wrong. Accountability is at the core of self-love. But it differs from “blame” because although you are responsible for each choice that led to where you are, you really don’t get to decide the set of choices you are given. Let’s also not allow things that are beyond our control to be the theme of a pity party. Be candid and pragmatic about where you can and should focus your efforts to change your circumstances.

Here’s How I Do It: I redefine the parameters of my “identity.” I am not my level of education, measure of creativity, looks, income bracket, or relationship. If I am not these things, then a critique of these areas does not threaten my ego. Therefore, I can accept these variables as a reflection of circumstance and not moral failings.

Reframing

Imagine a classroom in which the teacher uses name-calling and degradation to motivate students. Sure, some would succeed purely out of spite, but criticism isn’t a good growth medium. Why do we imagine a stream of inner debasement will spur us to achieve greatness? Reframe the way you think of yourself by replacing unforgiving words with understanding words.

Reframing gives us space to acknowledge our shortcomings. It is a perspective shift that finds the strength in our weaknesses. For example, I know I’m over-sensitive. I can either see that as an embarrassing trait because I don’t like being emotional, or I can view my sensitivity as a superpower. Empathy lets me intuit what others need, which is a good thing. So, the only change I make is regulating how I express myself.

As you break the habit of negative self-talk, you will have slip-ups. When that happens, make a purposeful effort to stop yourself and reframe. Need more positive personal adjectives to describe yourself? Take a cue from this list.

Here’s How I Do It: I embrace the worldview that existence has built-in hardships. If I am the author of my own life story, then I forgive myself for the struggles and accept that my trials are shaping me into someone fiercely determined to succeed. There are no mistakes or failures, just a series of gifts to unbox.

Discover queer polyamorous romance by Lesserknown1 exclusively on Wattpad today.

Now you can use rezoning and reframing to channel positivity and boost esteem. Feeling good about yourself is great for your mind and body, and you deserve freedom from your inner critic. For more ways to manifest a version of yourself that you love, subscribe to my blog and get weekly updates.

The Self-Love + Sex + Magic Movement 2021 is flourishing online. It is the perfect time to get involved! Find me on Twitter for regular inspirational posts and glimpses into my life outside of writing. Speak your mind on my daily #SLSM2021 Twitter discussion prompts. Or are you more active on IG? Follow me on Instagram and watch my show, Behind the Scenes w/ LK1, on IGTV. All-new episodes of Season 2 premiere every other week, showcasing tips for self-care and more.

Got a specific question about the Self-Love + Sex + Magic Movement? Feel free to drop a comment below.

Behind the Scenes w/ LK1 Season 2, Episode 1

Behind the Scenes w/ LK1 Season 2, Episode 1: “3 Ways to Practice Self-Love Daily (Number 2 Will...Probably Not Surprise You But Is Still Valid!)”

The following is a transcript of my vlog on YouTube and IGTV. Thanks for subscribing!

Welcome to season two of Behind the Scenes w/ LK1! I’m your host, indie author Sondi Warner, the “Lesserknown1.” To find my free and paid queer polyamorous romance novels on Wattpad, hit the link in my bio or in the description of this video; and, to learn more about me, be sure to visit my revamped website.

Last year with the debut of my show, we talked about a range of topics. That kept things exciting, but I felt like we lost the plot. So, now that I’ve had a whole pandemic in which to tweak my creative vision, I decided as a romance author, what better subject to tackle than the greatest relationship ever?

I’m talking about “Our Relationship with Self.” While working on the sequel to LEAD ME ASTRAY, I’m hosting a Self-Love + Sex + Magic Movement via Wattpad and social media. It’s fitting since the Overlay City series is--in a nutshell--about these 3 core themes. In fact, everything I write is meant to promote healthy self-acceptance, with diverse characters who embrace their sexuality, and I hope my books allow readers to discover the sacred in the mundane.

I want you to join my movement. All you have to do is, when you have time, look for my weekly blog posts for a deep-dive into mindfulness and self-care tips and tricks. Or you can just engage with me on social media on the go. I’ll keep videos like this one coming on a regular basis, as well.

Today I want to talk about three ways we can use self-love to improve quality of life even in these trying times. But first, this friendly pep talk is not intended to diagnose or treat any condition. Many of us lack a trusted therapist. So, I’m adding a link to resources in the U.S., including free care, and I’m encouraging you to make treating your mental health a top priority this year. If you’re watching this or reading the transcript from anywhere outside the U.S., I would love for you to drop links to your local resources in the comment section, too.

Now, let’s start with how I define self-love for the purposes of my Self-Love + Sex + Magic Movement. To me, self-love is a basic human need to prioritize one’s own well-being and happiness in order to cultivate a more equitable society.

Note the emphasis on prioritizing self for the betterment of the group. As counterintuitive as that may sound, it’s the old adage, “You can’t pour from any empty cup,” in action. The following three tips will allow you to take better care of your mental and physical health, so that you’re able to be there when your family, friends, colleagues, and community need you. Put these ideas in action for two weeks and see the difference it makes.

No. 1 Master the Basics of Being Human

First, we master the basics. Humans require air, water, food, shelter, rest, exercise, and mental stimulation. As children, our caretakers are responsible for ensuring we get adequate care. Once we start Adulting, we take the reins, and sometimes we drive our bodies right into the ground.

But the ultimate form of self-love is attending to what your Self needs. Over the next 2 weeks, instead of falling back on the usual excuses for not practicing self-care, try listening up when your body speaks.

To be sure, your professional and personal obligations will try to get in the way. However, when you make a point of taking care of yourself, your body thanks you by providing you with more energy and a better mood to do the things that need doing.

The biggest obstacle to mastering the basics of being human? Time management. So, use whatever tools are at your disposal--apps, calendars, to-do lists--to set intentions to eat when you’re hungry, rest when you’re tired, and play when you need a break.

No. 2 Reconnect with Your Body and Mind

Next, we reconnect with our senses through mindfulness. I know, the word “mindfulness” evokes New Age woo for some, but, frankly, this is real world stuff. The central nervous system relays a lot of information in our overstimulated environment, and we tune out more than we take in.

Yet, tuning out doesn’t make us more relaxed. Our primal brains get stuck in fight-or-flight mode, whether we’re self-aware enough to notice or not, and we become more anxious, more irritable, and more emotionally labile. This increases stress hormones, wreaking havoc with our metabolism, which can also lead to health problems.

Adding daily meditation to your self-care regimen can not only help you in the short term, but it can also lend long term resiliency. There are a variety of ways to practice mindfulness. I suggest researching and trying out different methods to find what resonates.

During my meditation hour, I play binaural beats and focus on affirming myself and showing myself gratitude. Set aside 40 minutes daily for 2 weeks and try it! Trust me, you need that alone-time. Give yourself the peace of mind you deserve.

No. 3 Get to Know Who You Really Are

Last but not least, who are you? No, really! It’s not a trick question, although getting to know yourself is an aspect of self-love that is paradoxically hard. You are so much more than the persona you pretend to be. Plus, life has a way of taking us through changes, and you might not be who you were a year ago, which is perfectly okay.

Over the next 2 weeks, I invite you to spend time with yourself. Notice your flaws without judgement. Celebrate your strengths. Re-learn your tastes and interests. Surprise yourself by trying new things to expand on your identity. Also, take time to actually look at your physical self and get comfortable with your appearance.

Consider journaling, even if you don’t do it in the traditional way. You might jot down your mood and reactions to current events in a day-planner through the week. It’s a great way to track your self-love progress, and you’d be surprised at what you’re really like.

You are a marvelous work in progress, and I hope these three tips get you started thinking up new ways to love yourself better.

I advocate erecting emotional boundaries, learning to say yes to what we want and no to what we don’t, and allocating energy and resources in a way that doesn’t deplete our own reserves. I also advocate shunning perfectionism in favor of accepting our strengths and weaknesses; and, I am for using this self-acceptance to make room for empathizing with the wants, needs, and imperfections of others. Apply these principles of smart give-and-take of energy to how we live, work, and play.

So, there you have it, friends. As we get deeper into Season 2 of Behind the Scenes w/ LK1, I’ll show more ways the Self-Love + Sex + Magic Movement can be empowering. We’ll also examine other themes of LEAD ME ASTRAY, my debut novel, which you can find on Wattpad.

Notice changes to my overall aesthetic, including less of a try-hard feel? That is not intentional. I am, as ever, a try-hard millennial, and we will be back to our usual standards soon. You can help us get there by gearing up for the grand-opening of my Patreon in March 2021! I look forward to seeing you at the ribbon cutting ceremony for that.

This is Sondi Warner, the Lesserknown1, signing off. And you know what I always say…Get away with something different! Get Away With It.