Is This Thing On?

Happy New Year!

I know, the future isn’t what it used to be. Coronavirus rages on. Maybe the vaccine gives us a light at the end of the tunnel. However, with the chess table of life flipped, our choicest maneuvers and best laid plans have been disrupted.

Some of us, blessed with the gift of adaptation, are finding ways to course-correct. Others are lying in wait for better opportunities. Few would call what we just went through a productive year. And regardless of what LLC Twitter and Entrepreneur IG suggest, no one expects miracles in this economy. The right way forward is however you are managing.

I choose to celebrate being present, though a bit diminished. Covid-19 forced a reckoning for me. I left my dream house in Alabama to care for family in Baton Rouge. I am happy to be home. Yet, a big move is costly in the best of times. In these trying times, assets have been removed from my professional life that I would have preferred to keep, and expenses added to my personal life that I would have preferred to avoid.

I finally had to ask myself, “Am I capable of putting in my best effort if I’m burnt out, broke, and depressed?” Admittedly, a blunt performance assessment is long overdue because I have been enduring those adjectives far longer than 2020--juggling writing, promoting, parenting, and homeschooling since 2016.

All work and no play makes me a very unhealthy girl. Actually, one in a very unhealthy three-hundred-twenty-eight million, give or take. In this achievement-oriented nation, folks are simply expected to balance home and work life. Never mind that it comes at the expense of ourselves. As soon as we figured last year wouldn’t be business as usual, most of us rolled up our sleeves for second helpings of sacrifices.

I want to pivot to how 2020 offered surprising bright spots, but there’s no avoiding the truth: We did sacrifice. A lot. Lives and livelihoods were lost. Indignities were suffered. Even as we enter 2021, the collective remains under intense pressure, challenging everyone to evolve. Recovery refuses to be a smooth transition. Instead, the scars of the past twelve months will probably mark us emotionally and physically for the remainder of our existence.

Yet, there were bright spots, like the year-end celestial event that gave us something to talk about other than the virus. The greatest Will They or Won’t They relationship in the cosmos reached its zenith when Saturn and Jupiter finally kissed. Take that as an omen that with patience and auspicious timing, magic happens. (By the way, did you get your superpowers?)

Despite the uncertainty of the coming days, here is my New Year’s resolution. I resolve to model radical self-love. Why? Because self-love is a skill as vital as emotional intelligence. By mastering self-love, we unlock reserves of resilience, perseverance, and contentment. We learn to treat others equitably as we discover they are merely our reflections, teaching us to treat ourselves better. Our relationships improve, and our goals broaden as we discover what we truly deserve in life.

It is not selfish. It is self-full. Putting yourself first gives you the energy to be there for your family, friends, and colleagues when they need you. This is the key to healing, acknowledging our collective bereavement. We must tend to ourselves.

What will executing my resolution look like? It will look like programming kinder words into me, especially as a writer, even when the success story takes a while to manifest. I will work harder at taking it easier. I will use my platform to encourage positive introspection and to voice my gratitude to the people I meet along the way. Normalize open, honest appreciation. I will build on what I learned through lockdowns and/or lack thereof--that solitude is the soil in which self-acceptance germinates.

Though sometimes lonely, none of us is required to explore this secret inner garden alone. Let’s get serious about building our tribe in 2021. You and your friends are welcome to join my Self-Love + Sex + Magic movement. Help it grow by following me, engaging with my content on social media, and sharing what resonates. Each week, we’ll set new intentions on Twitter and Instagram using the #SLSM2021 tag. Group chats and meditation events will be announced later in the year.

I am also planning my biggest venture yet, the Self-Love + Sex + Magic VirtualCon. Three days of philautia, erotica, and a dash of alchemy. For full details on how to participate in the VirtualCon as a host or a guest, please click here. Also, sign-up for my quarterly newsletter to get regular updates on the most happening movement of the decade.

If interactive online meet-ups aren’t your thing, get cozy with my free and Paid Stories on Wattpad, bylines in literary magazines, new Patreon account coming March 2021, and much more. I definitely recommend adding LEAD ME ASTRAY to your Goodreads TBR. Reviewers are saying nice things about it.

So, the future isn’t what it used to be, but if you think about it… it never was anything. Here and now are the only constants. With each passing moment, our existence makes us confront temporality. Still, there is magic in living, dying, and being reborn. Acceptance of this cycle leads to profound self-love. I want to explore that with you. I want to meet you in the space between never more and not yet and see what else we can get away with. Are you ready?

#GetAwayWithIt

P.S. Congratulations to the Wattys 2020 winners, especially my dear friend Domi Sotto! May you have many more wins as you go!